Blended and Stepfamilies

You didn’t think it was possible.

But you’ve found love again. That special person – the one you want to share your life with. You can’t wait for that new life to begin.

But it’s not that simple. You’re not just marrying that person – you’re marrying a family.

Expanding your love.

If marriage is a challenge the first time, it’s even more complex the second or third time, especially when there are children involved.

You bring baggage when you take the risk to love and depend on someone again – both the wisdom acquired and the hurts experienced.

And so do your children!

So… the more you know and address those expectations and fears upfront, the smoother the journey will be.

If you face the challenges straight up and get the support you need, you can build the truly fulfilling and healthy family you dreamed of when you got together.

I know. Having been married 25 years to my second husband and blending our three children (and seven grandchildren), I know it takes heart and courage and lots of committed love.

Even with all those things, it isn’t necessarily easy.

I can help.

I can help you as a couple (including your children) talk about challenging feelings openly, so you can build trust among you. This includes:

• Feelings of anger (toward the biological parents, stepparent or stepchild).
• Guilt over breaking up a nuclear family or for the children over having a relationship with a stepparent.
• Frustration over how your differences in parenting styles or values are playing out.
• Grief about the previous marriages, underneath it all, for everyone involved.

Forging partnerships, pathways, and priorities.

We’ll explore ways to become a team in parenting your blended family so that you do not experience conflict between your loyalty to your partner and your devotion to your biological children.

You might be dealing with issues with a former spouse – legal or emotional struggles or parenting differences.

Also, your children might be acting out their distress with rebellion or substances, withdrawal or anxiety.

Handling these things gracefully will require you to be strongly connected as a couple with a commitment to prioritize your time together, no matter what else is going on. This will make all the difference in the long run.

Tailored to fit your needs.

We can work with both parents or with anyone in the family who might be experiencing tension. It is important to build your one-on-one relationships with each child, and this will help open up the channels of communication.

We can also meet as a whole family. Often that is best accomplished in your home environment.

As we go, we’ll customize our work to address and honor the needs of every member. That is what makes it work for everyone.

Perseverance pays.

Investing in the health and happiness of your blended family is one of the most important things you will ever do, for your partner, for your children, for your own happiness and peace of mind.

There will be challenges. Finding a place of inclusion, happiness and love for everyone can take time, especially when there are children who did not necessarily choose the changes in their lives.

This can also be a profoundly rewarding and healing process for all of you.

I look forward to nurturing all of you on this journey. Call me at (303) 946-6030 or complete the contact form.