Couples Counseling
Ready for something different? Something effective?
What I DO NOT Offer:
I do NOT offer your traditional couple’s therapy where you describe the problems and I listen, offer suggestions, and send you out the door after 50 minutes only “to be continued” next week.
What I DO Offer:
I create a safe, structured environment where you can speak authentically to one another. You’ll sit facing one another – close enough to touch each other, physically and emotionally.
I’ll support you to listen in a way that encourages your partner to open up and confide in you.
I’ll empower you to express your needs and wants directly, respectfully and clearly, in a way that evokes empathy and deeper understanding.
Only after you feel heard and understood can you effectively explore solutions.
This takes time, and I won’t send you home in the middle of something unresolved.
Plan to meet for a mini-intensive of 2-2.5 hours each session. You’ll leave feeling relieved and hopeful about new solutions.
While we may work weekly in the beginning, we’ll start spreading out the sessions to every other week or longer once you can begin to appreciate your differences rather than seeing them as a threat.
This will happen as you learn to speak and listen more skillfully, and improve your ability to self-soothe. You will discover how to avoid the triggers that set off your Emotional Allergies and reconnect quickly when there is a breakdown.
Over time, you will learn to stay in connection, even during the difficult moments. You’ll have the skills, tools and awareness that you need to thrive and grow as a couple.
That’s my goal – to empower you to navigate the stressors, external and internal, knowing and trusting that the two of you can work through anything.
Plus, I’m always available for tune-ups and support when you need it.
In between sessions…
I’ll teach you simple practices that build your trust and goodwill, and I’ll also arm you with tools you need to continue to grow – even when things become challenging.
You’ll have the chance to practice the new behaviors and strategies we came up with, so we can celebrate the changes – or fine-tune them – when we get back together.
Dates and quality time for pleasure and connection will be assignments, too! Time poverty causes a lot of stress for couples today. Carving out daily time for one another can change everything.
Emotional allergies.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you bring your entire history to your relationship with your intimate partner. All the ways in which you have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned and abused create an intense protective response when your partner’s actions evoke a painful past.
Even buried memories can spark an immediate emotional response, causing you to lash out or pull away so that you cannot be hurt again by someone who really matters. This reaction may puzzle your partner, who may not understand your sensitivity.
We’ll surface and explore your individual Emotional Allergies and map out how you trigger one another’s protective reactions – your Emotional Allergy Loop.
Then, we’ll identify the “exit ramps” – new strategies to both prevent the loops and restore the love and goodwill.
As you disarm each loop, you will discover more empathy and compassion for your partner and yourself.
Introductory package:
Sign up for an Introductory Package of three sessions – up to seven hours of time – and get a 20% discount off my standard hourly rate.
This provides the time for meaningful progress toward your goals, at which point we can better map out your next steps for continued growth.
Give yourself a chance to break the loop.
Just imagine it – feeling the trust and confidence that you can face your past – and your future – lovingly together.
Reach out to take advantage of the introductory package to strengthen and protect the intimacy you share. Call me at (303) 946-6030 or complete the contact form.