Restoring Trust
What injures core trust in an intimate relationship?
It can be a wide number of things, any of which might indicate that you won’t be able to count on your partner in the future.
It may be that your core needs to feel secure and connected in the ways that matter have been shaken up.
Maybe there have been lies or deceit around money, substance use, porn or affairs, a violation of key emotional or physical boundaries, or the failure to show up for you in important moments when you really needed your partner.
There is no rift that cannot be healed.
As long as…
Both of you are willing to take 100% responsibility for your part of the betrayal,
and
Both of you still want your relationship to be healed – your first choice is to stay together.
And neither of you is still emotionally (or physically) involved with a third party.
Then I can help.
You may not know HOW to heal it.
You may be skeptical that you can ever restore the trust you once had.
However…
As long as you still want things to improve and are willing to engage whole-heartedly in the healing process, I can help you repair the broken or injured trust.
What’s needed?
A combination of these elements are necessary to restore your confidence:
Making genuine apology
You must be sincere and contrite, in both words and emotion.
It is important to assume 100% of the responsibility for the breakdown and express empathy for your impact on your partner.
Working toward emotional understanding
I will help you understand the Emotional Allergies and past hurts that were informing the acts of betrayal.
Doing this might require individual therapy to help surface the shadowed parts that were acting out. Once you truly understand why and what went wrong, you will have the power to make better choices in the future.
Acknowledgement of anger
Facing and addressing the unresolved anger and hurts that may have been festering between you as a couple will free you to move beyond them and connect to the good in your partner again.
Redress of wrongs
I will guide you through the corrective actions and steps needed to make amends and show your sincerity of heart. Sometimes it just takes time to trust that things have really changed.
Creation of a plan
You will create a plan that gives you the confidence it will never happen again in the future.
Hear. Heal. Mend. Build.
I’ll create a safe environment so you can confide vulnerably in one another – to express the whole range of feelings you’re having – and to comfort one another in your pain.
The Distressed Couples section describes more about the process of healing we’ll walk through together. Other readings and homework assignments will support your journey.
You can have the relationship you want to have.
Reach out to me today by calling (303) 946-6030 – take the first step toward growing back together.